Quotes
When Grandma comes up to say it’s time for bed, I pretend I am already asleep.
I am too close to blurting out my secret to her:
How I didn’t get up to brush my teeth or wash my face, not because I am lazy but because I couldn’t. It was physically impossible. My body was too heavy to move.
How I am sinking into cold, blue water, a blue nothing like the warm music filling the house downstairs.
How I am finding it difficult to breathe. How my skin is crawling with something like fear.
I cannot say these things to anyone, especially not to Grandma.
So I lie there with my eyes closed while Grandma turns off the light.
It is easier this way.
I am too close to blurting out my secret to her:
How I didn’t get up to brush my teeth or wash my face, not because I am lazy but because I couldn’t. It was physically impossible. My body was too heavy to move.
How I am sinking into cold, blue water, a blue nothing like the warm music filling the house downstairs.
How I am finding it difficult to breathe. How my skin is crawling with something like fear.
I cannot say these things to anyone, especially not to Grandma.
So I lie there with my eyes closed while Grandma turns off the light.
It is easier this way.
It’s silly to think of this place as mine, after only a week. I haven’t had the time to properly explore yet, since that first day with Gretchen. But they say people can fall in love in a day, or even in a moment.
Now three more people know about the Everwood. It is no longer only mine.
I am not sure how I feel about that. It seemed like a good idea, and yet now I am not so sure.
I follow my cousins up the stone steps. We are going slowly, because Dex keeps slipping in the dark.
Too slowly.
I would like to get back inside now, please, so I can have some time alone to think.
I need some time.
I need to be alone.
Now.
Before Grandma finds us. Before anyone sees me. Before the others change their minds and start laughing at me for playing my stupid Everwood game.
Now.
Now.
Now.
But it is too late; it is already happening.
It slides over me like I have walked through an icy veil:
Fear.
I am not sure how I feel about that. It seemed like a good idea, and yet now I am not so sure.
I follow my cousins up the stone steps. We are going slowly, because Dex keeps slipping in the dark.
Too slowly.
I would like to get back inside now, please, so I can have some time alone to think.
I need some time.
I need to be alone.
Now.
Before Grandma finds us. Before anyone sees me. Before the others change their minds and start laughing at me for playing my stupid Everwood game.
Now.
Now.
Now.
But it is too late; it is already happening.
It slides over me like I have walked through an icy veil:
Fear.
Impressions
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