Get the Self-Esteem Habit

So, accepting yourself does not mean that you must condone your tendency to put things off, or your timidity, or your obesity, or your bad temper. What it does mean is that no matter how much some of your behaviour needs changing, you will still accept and value yourself.

And when you do that, you’ll find that you’ll feel more powerful and confident, and that you’ll start feeling better equipped to begin changing those bits of your behaviour that you can alter and want to alter.

In fact, the interesting thing is that the more you accept yourself, the more you’ll feel justified in spending time and energy on improving yourself. Try to encourage this new view – and also encourage yourself to foster a belief that you’re just as special as anyone else and that you have the same rights as other people, and that you deserve happiness.

By contrast, do try to notice when you’re overly critical of yourself, and try to stop putting yourself down. When you are unnecessarily hard on yourself, you will not feel much liking or love for you. And your mood will get worse, not better.

with a practice in Harley Street. She has published a total of twelve books,

UK council for Psychotherapists (UKCP): www.psychotherapy.org.uk

• British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP): www.bacp.co.uk

• British Psychological Society (BPS): www.bps.org.uk

• Royal College of Psychiatrists: www.rcpsych.ac.uk

• British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP): www.babcp.com