Lili Valente

1) Repetitive use of 'but' in back to back sentences:

2) Repetitive use of 'your' in last sentence:

3) Too long, run on flow for one sentence, Punctuation changes

I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
But seriously, thank you for your
generosity and your trust.

Edit Suggestions:
1)
▪︎Replace first 'but' with 'so'
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
so ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
But seriously, thank you for your
generosity and your trust

▪︎delete 'but' of second sentence, start with 'Seriously':
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
Seriously, thank you for your
generosity and your trust

▪︎Delete 'but' add 'though':
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
Seriously though, thank you for
your generosity and your trust

▪︎Delete 'but' add 'on a serious note'
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
On a serious note, thank you for
your generosity and your trust

▪︎Delete 'but' add 'now:
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
Seriously now, thank you for your
generosity and your trust
2)
▪︎Delete second 'your':
I’m pretty sure you were
drunk when you sent that bonus,
but ha ha joke’s on you, I’m not
giving it back!
But seriously, thank you for your
generosity and trust
3)
▪︎ Break t senten
▪︎
▪︎
▪︎