Adam Kay

raniophallic anastamosis’ – dickhead.

But what if someone shares a ghastly factory farming video on Facebook the day before and you inadvertently witness a mass debeaking?

Besides, holding anyone to their word at that age seems a bit unfair, on a par with declaring the

‘I want to be an astronaut’ painting you did aged five a legally binding document.

a great doctor must have a huge heart and a distended aorta through which pumps a vast lake of compassion and human kindness.

They must have something that cannot be memorized and graded:

I’ve been visiting Baby L on SCBU* for three months now

I’ve been visiting Baby L on SCBU* for three months now

For me, the true miracle of childbirth is that smart, rational people with jobs and the ability to vote look at these half-melted fleshy blobs, their heads misshapen from being squeezed through a pelvis, covered in five types of horrendous gunk, looking like they’ve spent a good two hours rolling around on top of a deep-pan pizza, and honestly believe they look beautiful.

without the propofol you’re entirely awake – able to hear everything that’s being said, able to feel the surgeon cleaning you up with antiseptic and with no way of alerting anyone that something’s gone horribly wrong.