Amir Levine

When you finally talk to your partner, you often do it in a way that is explosive, accusatory, critical, or threatening. Rather than giving you the reassurance you’re seeking, your partner may withdraw.

you can judge immediately how important your well-being is to your partner:
• Does s/he try to get to the bottom of your concerns?
• Does s/he respond to the issue at hand or does s/he try to dodge you?
• Does s/he take your concerns seriously or does s/he try to belittle you or make you feel foolish for raising them?
• Does s/he try to find ways to make you feel better or is s/he only busy acting defensive?
• Is s/he replying to your concerns only factually (as in a court of law) or is s/he also in tune with your emotional well-being?

If the other person shows a sincere wish to understand your needs and put your well-being first, your future together has promise.