Sometimes we consciously or unwittingly adopt new roles as circumstances change and are hurt by the result. For instance, a couple may say, “It was so wonderful before we got married. Once we were married, something went wrong.” When the couple was together before, they were just being. The moment they got married they took on the roles that had been taught to them, trying to “be a husband” and “be a wife.” On some subconscious level they “knew” what a husband or wife should be like and tried to act accordingly instead of being themselves and discovering what kind of spouses they wanted to be.