Things we Left behind

God, he was beautiful. Supernaturally molded by the gods beautiful. He would make gorgeous little demon babies.

It was strange, having a secret with the boy I’d once loved and now sharing it with the man I couldn’t stand.

To 12-year-old, 17-year-old, 21-year-old, and 30-year-old me. You were never the disaster you thought you were. It’s all going to work out.

It was a nondescript two-­story with beige siding and utilitarian landscaping.

I have loved you for so long I don’t remember what my life was like before my heart was yours. It’s changed over the years. But I’ve loved you as a friend, an enemy, a lover. It would be my greatest honor in this lifetime if you would let me love you as my wife.”

I’m sorry, Sloane. Sorry for blaming you. Sorry for putting you in the position where you felt you had no choice.

Sorry for never communicating what I really wanted or needed until now.”

“What do you need now?” I asked breathily.

“You. Only you. Always you.”

I could have lost you last night. I’m not going to let that happen again. Ever. If you want ten kids, we’ll have them. If you want a six-­story library full of medieval first editions, I’ll buy every book for you. If you want to raise a family here, I’ll move back and feed your asshole cat every morning. If you decide you want to throw it all away and move to a tasteful hut on a tropical beach, I’ll build the fucking hut.”

“You are always my business. You always have been, and you always will be. The only difference is now you know it,”

“You remembered,” she said softly.

“I remember every second of us.”