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Philippe Besson

Lie With Me

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  • finalfadeouthas quoted9 months ago
    For a long time, I tried to write down words about his disappearance. I found a lot. I even classified them in alphabetical order, if you want to know: “abandonment,” “absence,” “death,” “departure,” “dissolution,” “erasure,” “escape,” “extinction,” “flight,” “loss,” “retreat,” “vanishing,” “withdrawal,”—the other ones I forgot.
  • charlreadshas quotedyesterday
    The rain continues to pound against the roof of the shed. We are alone in the world. I’ve never enjoyed the rain so much.
  • charlreadshas quotedyesterday
    His hair continues to drip water, the wet strands sticking to his forehead. His beauty is devastating. He kneels down on the mattress. I do the same.
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    nothing to bang against, where you search for a light, some small glimmer, something to hang on to and guide you
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    I discover that absence has a consistency, like the dark water of a river, like oil, some kind of sticky dirty liquid that you can struggle and perhaps drown in.
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    The source of this missing and longing can be found in this first desertion, this imbecilic burning love.
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    I discover the pain of waiting, because there is this refusal to admit defeat, to believe that a future where it happens again is possible.
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    It’s as if he’s negating everything that transpired between us, one body against the other, as if the image has been completely erased.

    🏌‍♀️

  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    He acts as if nothing happened, or as if everything should be forgotten, buried. It’s even worse than being forgotten, it’s a denial.
  • charlreadshas quoted2 days ago
    This coldness mortifies me. It confirms all my worst fears.
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