I Hope This Doesn't Find You

Because,” he says quietly, a curious expression on his face. I’ve never seen him so serious. So sincere. “You’re the only person worth paying attention to.”

Why would I be jealous?” he demands with a sneer, distaste written all over his face. “I would rather die than kiss you again.”

Forget it,” I mumble. “You won’t understand.”

“I’m trying to.”

Sadie. I don’t care whose party this is; I simply didn’t have anywhere better to go,” he says, his voice bored.

“How sad. You’re not wanted in your own home? You have to come bother me in mine?”

He flinches, then rights himself again with cool poise. The twist of his mouth turns cruel. “Well, if I can make your night a little worse, why not? I’ll at least have accomplished something here.”

The heat inside me flares higher, incinerating all logic and reservation. I want to slap that smug look off his face, but then I think of something even better.

“What about this, then?” I challenge, and before he can reply, I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him to me.

This time, when our lips meet, I don’t back away. I deepen the kiss, letting my fingers slide up his neck, curl into his hair. For one moment, I can feel his shock, the tension running through his frame like a heated wire, and I think: I’ve won. I’ve proven him wrong. Then he kisses me back, presses me closer, and something inside me slides off-balance

Oh my god, shut up.”

He falters briefly, then gives me an odd sort of smile, like he’s caught me doing something I shouldn’t, like he knows me better than I want him to. My skin tingles from the unwelcome attention. “Your language turns cruder by the day. Decided to drop the model student act for good?”

“Seriously, Julius,” I say through clenched teeth, lifting my hand, “if you don’t stop talking, I’ll—”

“Hit me?” His smile sharpens, as though in challenge. It’s a smile that says you wouldn’t dare. “Choke me, the way you fantasized about in your email?”

Irritation flares up in my throat.

I feel a black thunderbolt of rage, the electricity crackling down my spine

The words are perched right on the tip of my tongue

“I was just venting—”

“Have you ever heard of a diary, Sadie? It might be a worthy investment.”

“Don’t disgust me. I would never write diary entries about you—”

He cocks his head. Smiles with his lips but not his eyes. “And yet it’s clear I’m all you ever think about.”

“Think about killing,” I amend, grinding my teeth together. I could kill him right now.

“See?” Julius gestures to me, as if delivering a speech. “This is what I mean about the unresolved anger issues.”

“You mean that you’re the source of them? Because yeah, you’d be correct—”