theproblematique

He tries to pay attention to his co-interns, and succeeds to a degree, but in the background of his thoughts is a constant replay of the scene from this morning: the give of the patient’s skin, the gush of air in his face, the close warmth of Dr. Bang, the patient’s pulse coming back thanks to something he did, Dr. Bang’s approving look, Dr. Bang’s clapping, Dr. Bang’s eyes, Dr. Bang’s shoulders, Dr. Bang’s forearms—Dr. Bang’s wedding ring outline under his gloves, snap out of it Felix.

It’s called ‘I wish Dr. Bang would bang me’, in English, and Felix lets out a choking laugh instead of crying.

There are four members.

His medical student self, with his perfect report card, would be considering self-immolation right now if he found out.

For some reason, it feels easy to discard his past self’s hypothetical feelings on the matter when Felix’s feelings are so clearly on the line.